Constant Insufficient Feeding of a Voracious Beast
From March
I have a tendency to hoard, and save, and seek, and want to read, and watch, and listen to, and try everything. It’s like an all-consuming appetite that doesn’t know a bottom, and that far surpasses my ability, focus, or time.
It’s an ugly, devouring type of sick greed that can never be satiated. I want to know everything. I want to eat the world.
If to love is to consume, or to consume is to love, maybe what I want is to love everything. Or to hate everything. Or know everything enough to decide what to sort into my hate, love, neutral piles.
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Blood in the moonlight looks black. Wouldn’t it be the most romantic thing in the world to watch yourself bleed to death next to your favourite stream, when the moon is most swelled and full of life. And then it’s like your dying only fills her up more and your essence will be absorbed into her forever.
Isabella Adjani ; Anna from Possession (1981)